when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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