My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
