He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
