you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
