There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
