We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
