There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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