Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
