so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
