A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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