We're facebook friends in real life
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
