So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
