Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Welp...herpes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
