i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
