Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
