my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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