How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
