she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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