Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
