I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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