his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
