I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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