I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
