Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
