sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His hands were made for my vagina.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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