Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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