DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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