Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You took a bar mat shot.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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