True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Even my vagina gasped.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did we literally take a cab across the street
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
