i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
