I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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