Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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