yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
