I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
