I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
