why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
