I'm really into asian looking animals
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
