Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
