Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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