He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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