I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
