thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
