Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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