last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
