Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just invented taco cereal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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