I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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