Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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