So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We left the knife in your bed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
