I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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