Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
