good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
