She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
