I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
